Deja Vous

whoa.. *wiping forehead*

you all know what deja vous means.. you all been through it. what if i told you that my whole day of today was a series of deja vous!!!!

i was thinking of quitting. having a break for a couple of months, then hitting the working scene after i am done with my matters and i am more relaxed. and to TARGET the places where i wana work.

and for all of you who don't work, this is a very tough decision to make! and not for another better job, not for school, no.. to stay at home! -i'm doing my schooling by distance but that doesn't count-

so yeah, i couldn't do it! i chickened out! i need a push. and i have only my hubby to relay on, and i'm starting to think maybe it's too early to relay on him..

Fo0f, over and out. wow, i'm seriously back to blogging!

Me and Mr Jones

As happy as i am to have my own place, i know i got to start new habits.. which involves another person in everything :S this is not what i am used to.. okay i don't hide stuff. but i don't necessarily tell ppl abt my life.. that's one of the reasons i got a blog, i know i wana talk.. just not to ppl who actually know me :P
so yeah... i never thought it takes this much time, effort and money to plan a wedding! God bless u daddy for this.

Try to do:
Think of mama as hubby, share everything with her, bore her with my life :P sms her, call her and discuss matters with her :P
Sleep at 10 PM everyday
Start STICKING to a healthy diet
Go to the SPA and enjooy after work for an hr MINIMUM
Go to GYM 3 days a week (do the water exercise at least once a week!)
Think seriously about my job? is it worth it?
ACE MY EXAMS!
Take care of my self more.. dermatologist, laser experts and makeup lessons :P

anything i missed? i think not, any tips are appreciated ;)

Fo0f~

Why Would You Think I'd Change?

It's interesting how people think ur gonna change drastically just because ur moving to a new city, ur starting a new job, u've met other people or.. You're getting married.

i'll still go to the same place i work at everyday, i'll complain about the same systems and long work hrs. i'll curse the transportation system, i'll have my daily junk food lunches and wonder when will i start eating healthy. i'll still listen to my Ipod, go all the way to the supermarket just to get olives and cheese.. i'll still enjoy drinking Lipton's Ice Tea.. Getting together doing random stuff with my friends on Wednesdays, sleeping on the couch in front of TV watching my fav sitcoms..

why would mom ask me to go with her to her med aged cousins weekly gathering!! Oh yeah, so it's 3eed! They still need to get something in common with me for me to hang around them..

New weekend, new life, new me..

So, I started becoming more and more careless.. And this is so opposite of me, I'd like to thank a new friend who made me look at life differently.. Life is so much better and easier this way :)

My grandpa is recovering in the hospital after his open heart op, and my aunt is back to the hospital for more chemo. Rabe arf3 3anhom o 3afeehom.

"They Haunt Her by a Whisper.. A Chill Comes Over Me.."

I grew up to respect all sorts of authority. God, the King, cops, Mom and Dad, grandparents, uncles and aunts, other parents, until a certain age; maids, school teachers, school consular, teachers assistants and the list goes on.

See, when I was little I never question authority, it was correct that they are always right! And I just have to do what they say, take whatever advises they offer, "assuming" they always wanted the best for me. I was a kid, naive, I trusted ANY sort of authority.

Now, as I completed over two years of working in the banking sector in Saudi Arabia. My path crossed a lot* of bad people, in authority places. And being all grown up and getting to know that not everyone will have the best intentions and can't do anything about it, really hurts!

Sometimes, I think, maybe I am what dad says, a spoiled child who can not cope with the pressure of work. And that's why I choose to stay, and not be called a quitter, or I did, for as long as I could, and believe me, two years of putting up with that 10 hrs a day is not an easy job.

Today, I came to what I think I might regret, but knowing that I usually don't regret the stuff I do, gives me strength to go forward. I am stepping up; I am gonna say something about it. And whatever happens later, I got nothing to loose!

May God give me more strength to do this ASAP.

Have a pleasant weekend everyone!

* I usually say millions, as a form of assertion (9ee'3at mobala'3ah), which I came to understand people don't really appreciate. Plus, I don't really know if they use that in the English language.

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Is life treating you weird these days, do you feel left out when you see a lot of changes, and your friends are leaving.. Do you feel like you're too young to be living like this?? Or is it the other way around and you think you should be acting more mature!! Does everyone really know everyone and the world is small, or is it just that you look for connections to feel less like outsiders.. Why is everything reminding you of him? Why do you still see him everywhere, even hought it's been so long since it's over!!

I am in a place in my life where I look like I figured it all out, but really, I’m more confused than ever..